Aspen, my first home
No, I didn't have the privilege of growing up surrounded by these magical mountains, nor did I recently sign the dotted line for my first home. And yet, here I am, feeling the profound embrace of home. But what is home, really? Is it the familiar walls of our childhood abode, or perhaps the comforting embrace of loved ones? Maybe, just maybe, it's a sanctuary nestled deep within our own souls. For the initial quarter-century of my existence, the concept of home eluded me, despite my relentless pursuit.
After spending several winters in this town, I realized that amongst these snow-capped peaks and valleys, I had found my sanctuary. My gratitude for Aspen runs as deep as the roots of these ancient mountains, now intertwined with the very essence of my being. Here, I hope to write numerous chapters of my life's journey, embracing the local culture and all its idiosyncrasies.
My life's narrative thus far has been a tapestry woven with trials and tribulations. Raised by the chaos of dysfunctional parents—my mother's narcissism and my father's bipolar diagnosis cast a shadow over my childhood. Their toxic grip subjected me to various forms of abuse, leaving behind scars unseen. As a child, fear and confusion were my constant companions.
High school offered no solace, prompting me to seek refuge from familial turmoil in the arms of more chaos. A tumultuous romance with the town's resident bad boy eventually culminated in my expulsion from the familial nest and thrust into the wilderness.
"Sending me away," a euphemism for the troubled teen industry, plunged me into an 11-week stay in the rugged terrain of the Appalachian mountains. There, amidst the whispers of the trees and the gentle murmur of the rivers, I found solace tinged with uncertainty—a young soul lost and adrift in the vast expanse of existence.
Subsequent years saw me shuttled between various institutions, therapeutic boarding schools, each promising healing yet delivering only transient respite. I got kicked out of all of them. I wasn't finding home; I was only finding hurt. But through the haze of teenage rebellion and societal rejection, a flicker of hope remained—there had to be something more than this existence of pain.
I was given a diploma by one of the schools, most likely out of pity. But finally, I got to choose my next move. The bustling streets of New York City became my testing ground, where I worked menial jobs and navigated tumultuous relationships. I clung to the lifeline of education, graduating with a degree in economics. But the pursuit of material success proved fleeting, leaving me restless and yearning for more.
It was in the vibrant community of Austin, Texas, during COVID that I encountered salvation—a compassionate therapist and a circle of friends who embraced the healing power of psychedelics. Starting my graduate program for my Master in Social Work, I dedicated myself to learning about the potential of psychedelic therapy. Graduating summa cum laude, my life began to feel like there was a purpose—to heal and to help others find their own healing. For the past few years, I have been working as a clinical therapist, specializing in psychedelic therapy and helping individuals with trauma, anxiety, and depression.
In the arms of genuine love—my now husband—and in the embrace of true friendship, I found myself guided by them to Aspen. Here, in the midst of the rugged beauty of untamed wilderness, I discovered a sense of belonging that had eluded me for so long. You know that saying, right? "Come for the winter, stay for the summer."
So, to you, Aspen, I offer my heartfelt gratitude. Thank you for being the canvas upon which I paint the next chapters of my life. Thank you for teaching me that true home isn't confined to brick and mortar, but rather, resides within the depths of our souls. Thank you for being my sanctuary, my refuge, and my first true home.
As I reflect on my journey and the sense of belonging I've found here, I feel inspired to give back to this wonderful community. I will be writing a monthly column with the intention of bringing a fresh perspective that embraces vulnerability and invites each of us to explore and understand ourselves more deeply. Through sharing personal stories, insights from my professional journey, and reflections on the human experience, I hope to foster a space where we can all connect on a more profound level.
My aspiration is to create a dialogue that not only informs but also inspires. By shedding light on the power of vulnerability, I aim to encourage readers to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and growth. Together, let us cultivate a community that supports and uplifts one another, celebrating the strength found in our shared humanity.
- Sophia Green, MSW is a clinical therapist and psychedelic guide. You can reach her at sophia@healwithself.com.
