time for you to take a trip?

Hello, Aspen! Today, let’s explore two powerful healing modalities: psychedelic therapy and Internal Family Systems. You might remember my previous column (“Oh the people you’ll meet,” Sept. 8, Aspen Daily News) which introduced IFS. Now, I want to share how these two transformative approaches can align to create long-term healing. As a therapist and coach, I specialize in IFS and psychedelic therapy. If you’re curious about what these involve, let’s dive in.

At its core, IFS is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as a collection of “parts” or subpersonalities, each with unique roles and emotions. These parts, much like members of a family, interact with one another, sometimes in harmony and sometimes in conflict. Through IFS, individuals can explore their internal world, fostering understanding and balance by listening to these parts with curiosity and compassion.

Now, you might be wondering, “What exactly is psychedelic therapy?” It involves the use of substances like psilocybin (from magic mushrooms), MDMA, ketamine or DMT in a controlled, therapeutic setting with the guidance of trained professionals. Despite misconceptions, psychedelic therapy isn’t about wild hallucinations or partying — it’s about profound self-exploration and healing. These substances can provide deep insights, especially for people struggling with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, addiction and eating disorders. 

In many cases, psychedelic therapy can achieve breakthroughs in months that might take years in traditional therapy. It’s important to note, though, that psychedelics aren’t a cure-all. They’re not a substitute for therapy, but they offer a new avenue for those who feel stuck in a cycle of unhelpful thoughts or behaviors. In a mental health system where conventional therapies and medications sometimes fall short, psychedelic therapy brings renewed hope for true healing.

So, what happens when you combine the principles of IFS with the potential of psychedelic therapy? It’s like opening a door to deeper self-discovery. Imagine embarking on an inner journey where IFS provides the framework, and psychedelics unlock doors to insights that were previously hidden or inaccessible. Together, these approaches can help you understand and resolve internal conflicts, heal old wounds and restore a sense of wholeness.

This combination creates a powerful synergy, where psychedelic experiences can be guided by the clarity and structure that IFS offers. As the medicine opens you up to new perspectives, IFS allows you to process these experiences in a way that integrates them into your daily life, fostering long-lasting transformation.

Before you rush to experiment with psychedelics, it’s essential to approach this journey with mindfulness. Psychedelic therapy requires careful preparation and should be done under the right conditions to maximize the healing benefits. One key aspect is “set,” or mindset — the mental state you bring into the experience. Having clear intentions before using psychedelics can help guide the experience in a meaningful direction. Equally important is “setting” — the environment where you take the medicine. A safe, comfortable space is crucial, especially when using these substances at higher doses for therapeutic purposes. Typically, a private, familiar environment, such as your home, is recommended.

You absolutely do not need a guide to have psychedelic experiences; however, professional support, particularly when combining psychedelics with therapy like IFS, can enhance the safety and effectiveness of the experience. A guide can help you set intentions, navigate challenging moments during the journey, and integrate the insights gained afterward. That said, if you choose to explore psychedelics independently, ensure you’re intentional and prepared, both mentally and physically, to engage in this kind of deep introspective work.

Psychedelic therapy, especially when paired with IFS, offers a unique pathway to self-awareness and healing. Whether you’re feeling trapped in negative thought patterns, working through past traumas, or simply curious about expanding your consciousness, these tools can provide a path to profound personal growth and transformative experiences. 

Whichever route you choose, remember that the journey inward requires patience, compassion and preparation. Psychedelics, when approached with respect and intention, can be a catalyst for change. It’s not an easy path, but for many, it’s one worth taking.

Are you ready for your journey?

How to spot a narcissist

Throughout my life, I have encountered the influence of narcissism. For many years, I found myself in a painful and bewildering dance within these relationships, unable to comprehend the root of the struggle. Now, nearly three decades later, I have gained a few skills to navigate a world where narcissists abound. I hope to inspire those reading this how to spot these individuals and avoid their intricate snares of connection.

Narcissism encompasses an excessive self-love that often overshadows empathy for others. To better equip you in identifying these traits, let's dive into the nuances of recognizing narcissism:

Excessive self-importance: Narcissists believe they are the stars of their own show, demanding an unending stream of attention and admiration. Beware the grandiose declarations, one-sided conversations, and the insatiable hunger for validation.

Lack of empathy: Stepping into the shoes of others is a foreign concept to narcissists. Their emotional detachment means they are oblivious to your feelings and concerns, focusing solely on their own desires and needs. When you try to express yourself to them, it can often backfire. 

Manipulative behavior: Narcissists are masters of persuasion, deploying charm and cunning to further their agendas. Their manipulation can be so artful that it's often challenging to detect. Narcissists deny their actions and their consequences, dismissing reality.

Fragile self-esteem: Beneath their veneer of invulnerability lies a fragile self-worth that is easily wounded. Criticism or perceived slights trigger defensive reactions that can escalate rapidly. They will put you down as a way to build themselves back up. Ultimately, they resort to blame-shifting, justifying their actions by blaming you.

Boundary issues: Personal boundaries are just blurred lines on their narcissistic map. They invade physical and emotional spaces with little regard for your comfort. For example, talking only about themselves for an 18-minute gondola ride to the top of the mountain on a bluebird powder day; I digress.

Below is the “The Narcissist’s Prayer” and it can be a helpful tool to rely on when you feel caught in the web of a narcissist:

That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, that’s not a big deal.

And if it is, that’s not my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

Now that we’ve equipped ourselves with a more profound understanding of narcissistic traits, let's explore strategies for coping with these challenging relationships:

Set boundaries: Clearly define and assert your boundaries, establishing a protective shield around your emotional well-being.

Limit contact: When necessary, reduce your interactions with narcissists, safeguarding your inner peace. You cannot fix them, I promise.

Seek support: Turn to trusted friends, family, or a therapist for perspective and emotional support. Your support network can provide invaluable guidance.

Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your emotional health, helping you maintain resilience in the face of narcissistic influences — go skiing without them!

Maintain realistic expectations: Understand that you cannot change a narcissist. Instead, focus on managing your own responses and expectations within the relationship.

In closing, the ability to recognize and navigate narcissistic relationships is a skill of paramount importance in today's world. By honing this skill, we become more able to forge healthier connections and preserve our emotional well-being. As we continue this journey into the intricate world of emotions and mental health, let us remain vigilant, compassionate and resilient. 

Our understanding of these dynamics not only empowers us but also contributes to fostering a more empathetic and harmonious community.

Oh the people you’ll meet…

Oh the people you’ll meet … inside your own head. Well, maybe not people, but parts of your psyche. Let's talk about the idea of multiplicity of the mind and how this is a normal phenomenon that we all experience.

Many of us have been taught to believe that we are a single mind, separate from others — a solid and individual “I.” There are many stereotypes about people who present otherwise, such as those with multiple personality disorder. TV shows often depict this disorder in ways that scare us into clinging to a singular self. Unfortunately, it's not that simple, and the failures of our current mental health system reflect this complexity. People are giving up on genuinely feeling better and turning to Band-aid solutions like long-term medication. All for what? To numb the pain in a way that doesn’t really work, suffering through existence until we die? It's time to look at ourselves through a different lens and find genuine healing.

Introducing Internal Family Systems, an evidence-based modality practiced for over 40 years. Developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS conceptualizes the mind as naturally composed of multiple sub-personalities or “parts,” each with its own distinct perspectives, memories and motivations. These parts can either work together harmoniously or be in conflict, potentially leading to psychological distress.

In IFS, the mind is divided into various parts, typically categorized into three main types: exiles, managers and firefighters. Exiles hold painful emotions and memories, often pushed away or suppressed because they feel overwhelming. Managers try to maintain control and protect the individual from experiencing the pain held by the exiles by controlling behavior, emotions, and relationships. Firefighters react when the pain of the exiles breaks through, often engaging in impulsive or extreme behaviors to numb or distract from the pain.

Central to IFS is the concept of the self, considered the true essence of a person. The self is naturally calm, curious, compassionate, and confident, distinct from the parts. Healing in IFS involves the self taking on a leadership role, guiding the parts toward harmony and balance. A key process in IFS therapy is unburdening, which involves identifying and acknowledging the parts, understanding their roles and helping them release the extreme roles or negative beliefs they've taken on. This process allows the parts to function in a healthier, more adaptive way.

IFS does not pathologize the parts or view them as bad, but instead sees all parts as having positive intentions, even if their actions are maladaptive. This non-judgmental approach fosters a sense of safety and respect in the therapeutic process. The goal of IFS therapy is to integrate these parts so they can work together harmoniously, leading to a greater sense of internal balance, well-being and overall mental health.

IFS is widely used to treat a range of issues, including trauma, depression, anxiety and relationship problems, emphasizing self-compassion, understanding and healing from within. For example, I have a part of me that thinks about suicide. This part would be considered a firefighter. It developed when I was a teenager and stuck in my family’s abusive household. I remember the suffocating feelings of being trapped, feeling absolutely and completely powerless to the chaos around me. As children, we cannot change our environmental circumstances or our parents. For myself and many of my clients, suicidal parts often arise when we feel there is nothing else we can do to stop the pain of our circumstances from hurting us. They arise to protect us but are misguided and misinformed, often as young as we are when they first appear.

It is a paradigm shift to approach people who struggle with suicidal thoughts as having parts of them that want this rather than the whole of them. When we see the desire as coming from a part, we can begin to separate out the self — the true essence of the person. In IFS work, ideally, you work from your grounded self and get to know the parts of you that are struggling and in need of guidance and support.

In my case, I hadn't felt the presence of my suicidal part in over a decade until something traumatic happened recently and sent me back to feeling helpless and out of control. This presented me with the opportunity to work with this part from a place of compassion. When we support our most intense parts, they begin to settle, learning that they do not have to take on such extreme roles to make us feel protected. These parts learn that there is something much deeper than them that will support our beings — the self. Imagine the healthiest parent-child relationship. These parts begin to settle into us and eventually shift in how they show up. Over time, the part that thinks about suicide within me has begun to relax, trusting that no matter what happens or how challenging life becomes, I am safe, and I will never abandon my system. My parts will never be without my self. When we know, deep down, that we will always be supported by our self, suicidal and other maladaptive protective parts can integrate into a healthier role.

So, I encourage you to question the idea of “I” as a singular mind. Spend some time listening inside your being and think about whether there may be some parts in there that are waiting to meet you, your deepest, truest self.

Am I worthy of love?

Am I worthy of love?

If you had asked me this question four months ago, I would have vehemently defended the answer as “yes.” But recently, something in my marriage has confronted me with this question in a way I hadn’t anticipated. As it has forced its way into my consciousness, I find myself grappling with the fear that the truth might be that I don’t think so.

If you missed my last column, let me introduce myself. I’m new here, hoping to bring vulnerability, self-discovery and healing into the narrative of this town. So let’s dive in, shall we?

I want to explore how frequently I see people grappling with this question in my clinical practice, and how our culture often undermines our belief in our own worthiness. From the outset, I want to state that if we do not believe ourselves to be worthy of love, it is most likely a reflection of our inability to love ourselves. If we are walking around with a lack of self-love, it becomes nearly impossible to offer genuine love to others.

In my practice, I talk with people every day — some who appear outwardly successful and others who are more obviously struggling. A common thread among them, often unspoken at first, is that they do not feel worthy of love and do not love themselves. This lack of internal love can manifest in various ways, including workaholism, substance abuse, eating disorders, people-pleasing and anxiety. Please know that while I am writing from this perspective, these behaviors can manifest for a variety of reasons.

To be more specific, a person who constantly seeks validation through work and achievements may be driven by the belief that they are only worthy of love and acceptance if they succeed in these areas. Similarly, those who struggle with substance abuse often identify with the wound of not being worthy of love or failing to love themselves, using drugs or alcohol as an escape from these painful thoughts. In general, the anxiety that fuels these behaviors stems from a deep-seated fear of unworthiness and a constant struggle to find relief.

What I am beginning to understand through my own journey and through helping others is that loving ourselves and believing we are worthy of love is not a one-time realization but a continual practice. If we imagine self-love as a garden, it requires constant weeding, watering and nurturing. Just as a garden needs care to thrive, so does our inner sense of worthiness. Sometimes we avoid this question or try to evade its discomfort by seeking validation through substances, relationships, money or appearance, hoping that these things might provide the love we are seeking.

But what if being worthy of love were simply about learning to show ourselves love? Did you know that we must first give love to ourselves? I did not always understand this, and I am still learning how to do it. What I have observed in my personal and professional experiences is that we have forgotten how to love ourselves. We have lost the art of self-love and have stopped nurturing this essential relationship.

As humans, we often focus on protecting ourselves and seeking acceptance from those around us. However, when we neglect to nurture ourselves, we miss out on the profound benefits that self-love can bring. By connecting from a place of knowing our own worthiness, we create a foundation for a fulfilling and expansive life.

So perhaps it is worth asking yourself: “Am I worthy of love? Do I love myself enough to show myself that worth?” Sit with this question and observe your reactions. Do you rush to answer yes? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel anger toward me or yourself?

I hope the answer is yes for you, but if it is not, perhaps it is the beginning of the most beautiful relationship you will ever have — the one with yourself.

- Sophia Green, MSW is a clinical therapist and psychedelic guide. You can reach her at sophia@healwithself.com.

Read the original publication here.

Aspen, my first home

No, I didn't have the privilege of growing up surrounded by these magical mountains, nor did I recently sign the dotted line for my first home. And yet, here I am, feeling the profound embrace of home. But what is home, really? Is it the familiar walls of our childhood abode, or perhaps the comforting embrace of loved ones? Maybe, just maybe, it's a sanctuary nestled deep within our own souls. For the initial quarter-century of my existence, the concept of home eluded me, despite my relentless pursuit.

After spending several winters in this town, I realized that amongst these snow-capped peaks and valleys, I had found my sanctuary. My gratitude for Aspen runs as deep as the roots of these ancient mountains, now intertwined with the very essence of my being. Here, I hope to write numerous chapters of my life's journey, embracing the local culture and all its idiosyncrasies.

My life's narrative thus far has been a tapestry woven with trials and tribulations. Raised by the chaos of dysfunctional parents—my mother's narcissism and my father's bipolar diagnosis cast a shadow over my childhood. Their toxic grip subjected me to various forms of abuse, leaving behind scars unseen. As a child, fear and confusion were my constant companions.

High school offered no solace, prompting me to seek refuge from familial turmoil in the arms of more chaos. A tumultuous romance with the town's resident bad boy eventually culminated in my expulsion from the familial nest and thrust into the wilderness.

"Sending me away," a euphemism for the troubled teen industry, plunged me into an 11-week stay in the rugged terrain of the Appalachian mountains. There, amidst the whispers of the trees and the gentle murmur of the rivers, I found solace tinged with uncertainty—a young soul lost and adrift in the vast expanse of existence.

Subsequent years saw me shuttled between various institutions, therapeutic boarding schools, each promising healing yet delivering only transient respite. I got kicked out of all of them. I wasn't finding home; I was only finding hurt. But through the haze of teenage rebellion and societal rejection, a flicker of hope remained—there had to be something more than this existence of pain.

I was given a diploma by one of the schools, most likely out of pity. But finally, I got to choose my next move. The bustling streets of New York City became my testing ground, where I worked menial jobs and navigated tumultuous relationships. I clung to the lifeline of education, graduating with a degree in economics. But the pursuit of material success proved fleeting, leaving me restless and yearning for more.

It was in the vibrant community of Austin, Texas, during COVID that I encountered salvation—a compassionate therapist and a circle of friends who embraced the healing power of psychedelics. Starting my graduate program for my Master in Social Work, I dedicated myself to learning about the potential of psychedelic therapy. Graduating summa cum laude, my life began to feel like there was a purpose—to heal and to help others find their own healing. For the past few years, I have been working as a clinical therapist, specializing in psychedelic therapy and helping individuals with trauma, anxiety, and depression.

In the arms of genuine love—my now husband—and in the embrace of true friendship, I found myself guided by them to Aspen. Here, in the midst of the rugged beauty of untamed wilderness, I discovered a sense of belonging that had eluded me for so long. You know that saying, right? "Come for the winter, stay for the summer."

So, to you, Aspen, I offer my heartfelt gratitude. Thank you for being the canvas upon which I paint the next chapters of my life. Thank you for teaching me that true home isn't confined to brick and mortar, but rather, resides within the depths of our souls. Thank you for being my sanctuary, my refuge, and my first true home.

As I reflect on my journey and the sense of belonging I've found here, I feel inspired to give back to this wonderful community. I will be writing a monthly column with the intention of bringing a fresh perspective that embraces vulnerability and invites each of us to explore and understand ourselves more deeply. Through sharing personal stories, insights from my professional journey, and reflections on the human experience, I hope to foster a space where we can all connect on a more profound level.

My aspiration is to create a dialogue that not only informs but also inspires. By shedding light on the power of vulnerability, I aim to encourage readers to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and growth. Together, let us cultivate a community that supports and uplifts one another, celebrating the strength found in our shared humanity.

- Sophia Green, MSW is a clinical therapist and psychedelic guide. You can reach her at sophia@healwithself.com.

Read the original publication here.